I haven’t been on this for months and I still have followers, can’t believe it. Well I found out what is wrong with me, finally went to the doctor. I’ve been diagnosed with G.A.D which is generalised anxiety disorder. So that’s why I’m so up and down and generally crazy most of the time. I’m on medication for it but I don’t know if it’s working, he said today the dosage might have to be upped the next time around if I’m not feeling better.

I love love love my boyfriend though, he keeps putting me back together no matter how many times I fall apart, which is a lot and several times a day :(. Without him I am not sure how I would be here and if I was it’d be just scraping along. 

I have a cold and the ball is tonight :(.

honesty?? I’ll hurt everyone including myself.

No not okay. 

Too tired to try. So fed up of myself, I want to be thin before I go to New York so I don’t have to hide my legs. 

Totally lost. I wish I could lose control and just give in to anything I want, something in particular…no I’ll always be the good girl though, who gets guilty even when there’s no reason to be.